There was some magnificent lightning and as always I was torn between wanting to watch and wariness of its power. I am happy now that I can hear the sound of rain falling gently on the leaves and dripping from the gutters calms me. The drama of the thunder and lightning has passed and we are left with rain. Just wonderful rain. Rain which will nourish the dry earth and with any luck add much-needed water to the dams.
I want to write. The words on the fridge are the closest I get to writing a creative sentence. My writing mojo seems to have gone on vacation. Without asking me for permission. How inconsiderate.
What can I write about? The rain? Done. Now what? I’m stuck. I’m frustrated. But only with writing. The rest of my life is gradually calming down. Does writing only flow for me when I’m stressed, unbalanced, under pressure?
I’m doing the Daily Om course “A Year to Clear What is Holding You Back!“.
Our drive to attain and succeed comes at a great cost to the soul. We are malnourished, if not starved, when it comes to compassionate self-acceptance, awareness, and care. We yearn for simplicity but struggle to find it. We ache for balance but can’t sustain it. There is no time to juggle it all, let alone clear the things and thoughts that have caused us to feel so overwhelmed in the first place.
Most traditional approaches do not make room for us to feel the feelings that come up when we clear, and they make us feel bad when we fall short. These linear modalities do not account for our fight-or-flight response, nor recognize the energetic impact that our thoughts and emotions can have on our living spaces. [extract from course promo page]
One of the repeated themes is that getting rid of stuck energy can feel uncomfortable. During a body scan awareness exercise a few days ago, I noticed that my stomach feels tight and knotted. A sure sign for me that I am anxious. Always has been.
Maybe I am processing everything that has made me unbalanced recently: travelling for work with a large team of colleagues, moving 3 houses, radical de-cluttering, settling into a new home, new work routines and responsibilities… there’s enough to cause overwhelm!
The course asks us to try “compassionate awareness” – self-acceptance, self-love, and self-care. Clearing with compassion helps you feel nourished, held, and safe enough to let go.
This is my learning. This is my work. How can I do this? No judgement, no ‘fixing’, just noticing and allowing.