Transitions: Dancing with others

Thursday 28th March 2019, England, Day 54

This quote came up on one of Colette Baron-Reid’s Spirit Animal cards. The message was that maintaining integrity and inner equilibrium whilst adapting to life’s changes are crucial so as not to get lost.

“Adapting isn’t about losing yourself. It is about learning how to dance with others.”


I think about what it takes to dance with someone else.

It means listening to the chosen piece of music, really getting to know the rhythm and tempo. Learning to feel and interpret the energy of the music to convey meaning and emotion.
Dance Steps Footprints Ballroom InstructionsIt’s about learning your own steps so they become part of your body. Then working out how those steps relate to your partner, discovering how to be in sync with each other and connecting the steps with the music.

How do the partners relate to the space around them: do they move around the dance floor on their own or together? Then there’s adapting to a particular hold or posture, balancing the space between you with closeness. Balancing steps, sequences and movement with pauses, gestures and lifts.

A dance is a complex system of action, space and energy.

After many years of living a relatively isolated life, far from family, I am discovering that learning to dance with others in life is just as complicated as dancing itself. Even more so, when there are lots of people to take into account – it’s like learning a massive group dance.



House and dog-sitting, means I am unexpectedly living on my own again for a few weeks. I write this in my Morning Pages:

Oh, I do like having my own space and my own routine. Hmmm, but I’m lonely and I feel disconnected.”



I’m overwhelmed and sometimes frustrated by how little time I have for my writing and other creative endeavours I have on an ever-lengthening to-do list. I have this conversation with myself:

“If you got up earlier, Debs, and stopped watching series, you could have at least 2 extra hours in your day, which you could use to ‘do’ things“, says the critical voice.

Aaah, yes, I know.” my compassionate voice responds. “But, I am enjoying sleeping in until 8am. It makes me fell like I’m on holiday. For goodness sake, I am on holiday – a long holiday! And it’s OK not to be ‘doing’ all the time.



I have time and energy. I’m doing things for my family which I have not been able to do for 18 years. I can contribute, participate.

Babysitting, accompanying people to hospital appointments, house and dog sitting. Because I am in a good space, family members want to talk to me and be with me. Not everyone is in that same good space. I can listen and be there.

It is easy to get bogged down with emotional gunk that is not mine. I must remember that in order to stay in a good space, I will need to clean my energies, de-gunk, de-gloop and to have some solitude and alone time.


When I’ve learnt to dance in the past, if I get too caught up in the technicalities and what needs to come next, I get flustered and lose my way. I have a great rhythm and connection with the music. I have found that the best way for me to learn a dance is to relax into it and feel it in my body. To let the energy flow through me. That’s the approach I am taking at the moment as I re-learn to dance with the people around me, whilst keeping my inner equilibrium.

Debbie blog sign off 2019

Images used in this post. Sadly, none of these beautiful illustrations are mine. They are sourced from a Google Image search with the “Free For Use” filter.

This post is part of my Thursday Thort and Transitions series.



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