Date: 8th June 2020
Location: Isle of Wight
Category: Tough stuff
As this week has gone on, I have continued to listen to Black people and have started to engage with the resources that are available in abundance.
I watched a video by Brandon Kyle Goodman @brandonkgood that had a deep impact on my new “un-learning journey“. Deep enough that my action step was to share this video in my white community. Two things that I took away from it were:
1. White people are having feelings of guilt, embarrassment and shame.
hat he said resonated instantly with how I am feeling. I believe myself to be kind and empathetic, and yet the feelings of guilt, embarrassment and shame are arising because I do not know how I have gone this long without seeing and understanding the pain, trauma and plight of black friends, colleagues and so on.
2. The second point was practical and I am grateful for that. Echoing what others are saying, he reiterated that we need to be initiating these uncomfortable conversations with our white friends and families, but not burdening People of Colour with how we feel.
My overarching feeling for this week is embarrassment and shame.
How could I have been so ignorant?
Why has it taken me so long to be jolted into action?
More importantly though, is what am I doing with those feelings. It’s like fear – you have to use it it to transform and move forward. I have to use this shame and embarrassment to “do” something, change, transform.
I feel an urgency to get on with it and to stop f*** around. In my own small way, I want to be part of making this world a better place for People of Colour. I must get on with “un-learning journey” – I have to listen and read so I can understand my own complicity in the systemic racism and white privilege and move forward with a new mindset – one that will allow me to make changes in how I live and engage in this world, and how I actively support others.